Thinking of him...

My Alonzo, can't help but think of you.

Why am I taking your death so hard? I haven't taken anybody else's that hard. So many people was lost to me last year but it didn't make me cry. I was sad but it didn't feel as gut wrenching as yours.
I wanted to throw open the door and see you sitting in front of the door, your usual outpost. But all that's there is your grave. There are lots of three leaf-clovers growing. I hope there's a four.

It's hard to get close to the other kitties now. They are not as smart as you. They are not as lovable as you. I tried to train them but they didn't have your zest or appeal.
I wonder if you left me some kitties somewhere. I just want a piece of you again. When you died, I threw out everything of yours. It hurt to look at. Now, I wished I have something to cling to...

I miss you and it seems hard. I'm emotional but my sibs tell me to put a sock in it.
They bonded with you the same way i did but they didn't grieve you as I am still doing now.
Why is that, Lonzo-kins?

Why am I not over a death of a cat?

You know my secrets, my feelings, my dreams. Sometimes I wished you'd go on forever but you didn't. Now that you're not here, I need you even more.
Nobody could understand that.