Where God is

Mr (blank) said that God must be living in Chile. This is because he said it looked so wonderful and beautiful in Chile. He can't find any other place so beautiful as Chile. There is thought one big BUT to his story of beauty. No matter how handsome and pretty people are, he said they were all theives and liars. He wouldn't trust any of them.

.

Fine by me. God still lives there. I think he's right in saying God lives in a place like that because the healthy does not need a doctor.

God lives closer to where He is needed the most. If the people are really not trustworthy, God will try harder at that place. He gives them a peaceful surrounding amidst the unruly heart so that everymorning it would serve as a reminder of God's love.

.

.

.

Jumbled

J
u
M
B
L
e
$

So much to do
So many to think about
So little me
So few hands
Too jumbled inside me
Too jumbled outside me
Everything is jumbled

Can't See

Yesterday Diki woke me up because a text rang for me that woke everyone up. It was Kaye texting at 3 in the morning. I heard the ring but just stuffed the phone under the pillow. I looked to the direction of the window to see the time.

Oh my gosh! I think I'm blind! I can't see anything! Even if it's midnight, I have to see the moonlight or just plain natural lighitng outside but none! I'm blind!

Morning, two rays of sunlight passed through a crack on the newspapers and foil.

Newspaper and Foil?

Yup. It seems dad put newspaper and foil on the window to keep the sun out. It was under the curtain so I wasn't able to see it before I went to bed. Man! I thought I was blind!

Whew!

Guardian Angel Falling

A teacher of mine shared to us that his grandfather told him

"Its not good to be good."

*

I know. I've been trying to abide by the rules of being too good. I did good things to help others. It's not everyday I announce my good deed. I keep some to myself. It's the thought of helping. People will not often appreciate what I do. Nor will they appreciate who I am.

It hurts that I try my best to make people happy and I can't please the majority. Everynight I ask if there's a point to everything I do. Is there any good in being a guardian angel?

Is there a point to what I do?

*

I often relate myself to the good guys. I feel for them when they get hurt. Inside, I say I'm like Guardian Angel Setsuna, I have a silver sword with me. But then, I have no Carin.
Hhhhh... This is a tough life.

*

How come Diki's fine? That's because she loves the bad guys.

How come Jade get's what she wants? That's because she's spoiled and a totale B!-*-

How come others are fine as they are? Because they put themselves on top of the list.

While me--- at the bottom of the my priority list.

I hate this. I'm turning into an emotional eater. Also, hungrier and hungrier to be the best that I can be. I guess, it's the only way I can please a lot of people including myself. But then, it still isn't enough.

*

Nothing seems to be.
It's no good to be too good. It's detrimental.

*

I'm Me

This is who I am...

*

I am

M A I T A

C

T

U

S

*

Individual

Catholic

True

Understanding

Significant

*

"... if only because no matter what you do, no one will ever think the things about you that you want them to think. What you do has to done because of how you’ll feel about you.”

-Deep Wizardry

*

I am Maita and I am what I am. If being who you are is a choice then this is my choice. I love beilieving in things people call myths. I think there are some truth to the matter. I love ice cream and chocolate. I love reading. Books that intrigue me are fantasy books. Elis Peter's Cadfael is the only book not too fantasy but I love. Historic books and pre-historic subjects as good too. I love Dinosaurs. I like to learn about them. I like fashion but I'm not too keep up with the fad.

I don't like being put down. I hate people who are discriminative. I disagree with people who don't take a bath when they have a chance. I hate corruption and deciet.

When I grow up, I want to be set apart from the rest. I want to be recognized and make it good in the world.

I love to unwind by typing my stories. Soon, I hope to publish a few books. I just have this parallel universe of stories. This is where I base most of my drawings.

I hope to enter into numerous business not just fashion.

I do teacup divining and dream prophecy. I try to study aura reading and palmistry.

*

Like mysteries, the more you try to explain them, the more they become vague. So don't warp me into something explainable because I am what I am.

*

Scrub-a-Dub-Dub. Two feet in a tub

As everyone knows, Pat has stinky feet. He doesn't like to clean it properly. I thought of a solution to cure this and

EUREKA!

Found it! I was able to re-invent a new foot soak. No scrub needing, just soak up for ten long minutes. He can even just sit down and watch tv while the soak scrubs away the kagaw of his feet! I did it! I've done what no mortal man has dared to do: clean pat's feet.

this is progress for my beauty products business. I gotta get it patented!

Anyone wants to volunteer as another test subject?

I'll give you a jar for testing. hehehe.

Whale of Time

The other night I dreamed I lay down the bottom of the ocean.

*

Just a few seconds to relax on the sand and feel the water on my skin...

*

Suddenly, there was a killer whale swimming around me. It pulled my leg and tried to get me to surface. I realize the orca was trying to save me. I tried to say I was not drowning but just trying to relax.

The Whale told me to climb on it's back. So I did.

The Whale took me to a cave. Nobody dared to enter the cave because it was dark. THe darkness kept everyone away. But the whale took me inside.

In the cave, I saw paintings on the walls. Inside the cave, more paintings. It gave me ideas.

After my burst of ideas, the Wahle showed me a door. When I got out the door, I was back in the city, my home. The only thing was, I was years into the future. It seems that I have disappeared for so long.

*

Seeing Whales in dreams is a good sign. Especially Killer Whales. Killer Whale makes you doubt their motives but actually, they try to help. Whales in dreams are friends who are secretly trying to help you in the real life.

This whale in particular showed me opportunities in a dark cave. The darkness can symbolize our hesitations and doubts but the whale brought me beyond the darkness and into opportunities. According to Dream Dictionaries I read, Caves are springs of creativity. They hide some sort of artistic inspiration waiting to be discovered.

Things take time, as the whale shows. We all have to get back to the origin and start from there. Opportunity is shows and doubts anre broken. When we return to our own worlds, we are changed and in being changed, we must change the world as well.

*

Epiphany

Lyrics by Altarboyz. Lead Vocals by Mark

*

I Look in to your eyes and see the pain you look inside

Aren't you tired of the lies you tell so you can hide?

What if my friends don't accept me? (I know...)

What if my parent's reject me? (I know...)

But you can't be truly "you" untill you can say...

*

I am

a

Catholic (that's me)

I beleive in the Holy Trinity(1,2,3)

Shout it out and make them hear your voice

*

Your posse might think it's dope

To confess your sins and like the Pope

But this is who you are, it's not a choice (Not a choice)

You say your sleeping in when your going out to mass

You cut school on Ash Wednessday so nobody would ask (Don't ask)

Your rosary's hid in your sock drawer (oh no...)

You sneak into church through the back (Oh no...)

Time to break out and break free and finally say:

*

I am a Catholic and Proud

Sing it strong, sing it proud

I won't deny what God meant me to be

Every night you knee and pray

Stand up and be counted today!

Out of the cloisters and in to the streets (in to the streets!)

*

We are your teachers and your doctors

And your Burgerking cashiers

We're your receptionist and interns

And your Amtrqack engineers

We are your lawyers and your tourguides

And your actors on TV

We are your parents and your brothers and your children

And me...

*

I am Catholic, yes I am!

Long live the Vatican!

God doesn't make mistakes and he made me!

Let out what you've trapped inside

Come on and show your Catholic pride!

That's how you were meant to be!

*

I am Catholic hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I'm not going to hold it back no more

No you won't, you won't deny me!

*

C-A-T-H-'L-I-C- Catholic with a capital C!

Tha't how it was meant... Ohhhh

Tha't howyou were meant...

Tah't how I was meant... to... be!

*

A Lot Like Gotham

Where is gotham? In the real world?
Look at our society. Doesn't it seem like the movie? Isn't the mood, senario and atmosphere of Batman Begins a lot like our society today?
"Our city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt..."
It shouldn't but sad to say, it does. Our city might not be literally dark. The darkness is within us. The corruption is very rampant. Like the citizens, we bitterly accpet it.
What is missing is our Batman?
But do we need a superhero, a symbol like that to fight back? In order to break the system, we must be our own heroes. Face it! We don't have any Bruce Waynes!Do you think some rich tycoon is going to dress in a black rodent costume and go spending that much for costumes and weaponry. Worse, he'd be giving his life! No seree! They care too much for themselves. There's no more true heroes these days. It's a hard fact.

I can't hear you, Lord...

The other day I was listening to Altarboyz on the vcd player. Diki said she fixed it. Then it came to my favorite track, track 5 or the Miracle Song. It's about the gospel, only they rap it. Then of course, there'd be the part that Jesus is suppose to sing but then whne it came to his part, there was blank. Just music but no Jesus voice.

*

OH MY GOD!!! Have I beocme so sinful to have not hear Him anymore??? Repeat please. Nope, I can't here Jesus. This must be a sign!

Then Diki hits me. It seems that the right side speakers are broken. I only hear the left speakers and Jesus' voice and the other minor background effects were on the right side.

*

That made me breathe easier. But then it got me thinking. If that would happen, really happen, what would I do? This may be a sign from God too. A big jolt to tell me I need to be better, nicer or softer. Also, to spread the word to all and ask you all:

Can you hear Him?

*

Quite Different

As I learn another lesson today that is not textbook material, I realize, there is so many things I need to equipt myself that none of my profs can teach. People are different. Evolution is a hard teacher. People have evolved. In the 50's up to the 80's people's waist lines are normally 24 in this country. Today's waist lines for thin and "normal" people is 28ish.

People have evolded not only through time but through race. The Asian race has a different frame. The Caucasians too ahve a different frame. What we try to copy is this Caucasian Western shape of thin, long legs and short torso. Even in Asia, frames are differernt.

• Here's a tip to all of you who read this. Filipinos are long torso and short legs. Fat Filipinos are usually top heavy, small hips and tiny legs. Tiny hips? How come we're over populated? We have the cone silhouette.

• Chinese frames are long torso, short legs but stick in terms of silhouete. The newer generation is getting taller but shoe size is still small.

• Western Frame is short torso and long legs. Feet are big and wide. For fat Caucasians, they ahve a diamond silhouette. (Man! They can reach up to 5xl! Pinoy market for bigs tops 3xl and not more. Poverty affects the country's biggie size. hehehe)

So, some of my designs and finish samples have been rejected. Yup, the green ITY dresses have been pulled out. The black one in sampling is with me at home. The shirts have to be modified because big people have this "turkey ham" arms that need to be covered. Sleeves have been added. The only no problem is the skirts. I love the skirt! The line for Big Closet is changing because of the new materials we are using. It is also changing because some of my outrageous experiements that drives the sample maker crazy. hehehe.

Experimentation is the key to Evolution.

Learn it from Mother Nature!

**

-

A Brand New Sound

There's a brand new sound that's growing round the world...

It's deep in the heart of every boy and girl...

But it's not so new, it's primitive and tribal. If you look you find it in Gideon's Bible

Playing in NYC is the newest, hippest musical:

The Altarboyz

5 cute boys trying to make it int he world like N'SYNC and Backstreet. The only thing is, they sing religious songs. But you'll love it! It's so funny and touching. Its a brand new way of listening to Godly music.

Listen to it. Go search in Yahoo or see the website. THey have free previews. http://www.altarboyz.com and see for yourself. I love the music.

The Mark

A woman of worth has a mark in her. Unseen by the naked eye. Competence and perseverance is one of her traits. One can see her in her world.

A woman of worth stands out. You can see her strive for the best. Perfection is unattainable to that doesn't hinder her from trying.

It is wonder what pthers discover for me. Perhaps it is because of education or parentage. Perhaps its the books, with all its stories. Perhaps it is the things I watch.

Perhaps it is a mixture of all the above.

I've been exposed to numerous things. I am lucky to have seen what I have in my lifetime. My eyes were opened to the truth. Day by day, I recieve truth and reality because I chose to be open.

That is the mark of a woman of worth. Open. True. Competent. Unattainable...

This is my Golgotha

There’s a hurly-burly in my heart
Making the bucklers I apply incorporeal
The dunnest wracks pall me

When foul seems fair
And all my rights wronged
Petty runnions are oblivious to my gentry

The folly I bared;
I have exposed my coin of vantage,
Like sponge were these supposed buttress

The friends I knew were felly-hungered
They strike ‘gainst me when I’m down
Oblivious to my bounteousness

With the fetch of wit did use
To their gain
For them a Solomon of resources

My heart is down gyved
The agents of Cautel clouded to wrap
Colleagues in evenhanded indifference

This is my Golgotha
With dismal visage mime I, a scene
A scene of dun fume

The dun which palls
Whose agents of Cautel grin like skulls
Their world in it, I no room

You Found Me...

Fatty Katty Wampus,

You found me. You found me.

I told the other cats the other night to look for you. They did understand me, noly I thought they wouldn't tell you. I know how superior you cats feel. I even described how you look like.

Today, you knocked (litterally) on our door and I thought I heard a familiar call. It was you my little baby but not fat anymore. You've grown so skinny and light. You lost a lot of hair and got mangled from fights. I don't care. I needed to feel your soft fur agian and your warm hug. I felt flattered you rubbed your head against my feet the moment you saw me. I missed you too, so much, too much. I just hope Cute Cat would also find his way here. You two are always together and always so close to me.

I never meant to leave you. I was coming back but when I did, it was too late. You were all gone and I was left wiht no cats. At least you and I meet again. I'm so happy. Did you know how much I prayed you'd find me? Gad gave me a dream assuring me you'd come but not Cute Cat. HE only said you but I am still hoping for Cute Cat. Not that I like him better but we did sahre a closer bond. You had a closer bond with Diki. Still, I love you like no other.

Stay in my heart (or in the garage) and be close to me always.

Your Serogate Mother.

Crestfallen Merfairy

Mermaid and fairy in one, in search of a heart
One heart fair, one heart vowing ne’er part
She swims life so vast, so vast…
Time slipping in the tides so fast

A pearl in the sea has no other
She is polished continually by weather
Nightmares scare the fragile fins
Rejection pricks her like pins

Around her are spines of poison
Friendship allured with a con
Saddened by the spite of greed
Her tiny wings are clipped to bleed

One thing she searches but has yet found
In a heart so true she is bound
A present to the heart that lets her
Just let love caress it tender

In life’s ocean she is lost
Finding her way at all cost
To find a specie to accept her fair
And with these words bear

“Come Merfairy into my heart
Protect me with thy loving art!
Deceit and lies from you I shield
Promise with my might I yield.”



* A Merfairy is a small mermaid with fairy wings. It glows and guides weary travelers. Not everyone is gifted to see a Merfairy.

Fire and Hemlock

A photograph above Polly's bed sparks memories in her that don't seem to exist. Fire and Hemlock was the title of the large photograph of a burning feild of hemlock. The figures in the fire tell her of a hazy story that involved some people, a horse and her. Slowly, these memories pushes itself into her mind. It starts with nine years ago. She gatecrashed a funeral party at the big Hudson House and met a certain Thomas Lynn. Even if he's an adult, they struck up an immediate attraction. Frinedship at fist. As a game, Polly taught Tom to play Pretend. She began with a name for them as Tan Coul as Tom and Hero and Polly. Soon, they were making up stories together and it progressed. Tan Coul is a hero in training while Hero is his assistant. Poly stated their occupations and some of their first adventures. The trouble is, these scary adventures have a nasty habit of coming true... Polly discovers all her inventions had been the past and present of Tom and her. Two vases stuck together in the garden of Hudson house gives a clue. Each vases had the word Nowhere on them but they could be revolved beside each other to either spell Now Here or just plain Nowhere.

The hero-in-training Tan Coul and his assistant, Hero exists nowhere and here at the same time. This boggles Polly and Tom keeps to himself. The only thing he does is write and rewrite her stories and sends her mountains of books. Battered by troubles at school and home, Polly is always confused and left miserable. With her best friend Nina moving on, her mother blaming her and her father leaving them, she is left vulnerable to the evils that enhabitted Hudson House. Only Thomas Lynn has the answer but he cannot tell nine-year old Polly. Still, he cheers her with books and clues with it.

The photograph of Fire and Hemlock sparks her to polish Tan Coul and Hero's story more. Three more heros enter the picture. Polly's description of the three friends who are also heroes come true when Tom forms a quartet with members of the British Philharmonic Orchestra. The evil following Tom and Polly does not spare them. They are tried and tested nearly costing their lives. Soon, Polly could no longer take the mysteries and secrecies. She decides to take a bold step and try to do something.

Five years ago, her memories of Tom and the other three heroes vanish from her mind and from the rest of the world as well? It was because of the clues of the books Tom sent and the photograph of Fire and Hemlock that helped Polly uncovers the awful truth and, at Halloween nine years on, realises that Tom's soul is forfeit to demonic powers unless she can save him. Grandma reveals some clues too. It seems polly's grandfather's name is Tom too and he too was a musician. And like Thomas Lynn, he fell prey to Hudson House's evil horrors and is devoured from the face of the earth. Must Tom Lynn's fate be the same. In a desperate attempt to save Tom, she goes to Nowhere and Now Here, the mysterious place where the Evils of Hudosn House devours their prey.

In the end, Polly, Tom and the other three heroes lived happily ever after. I won't tell you how she saved him. That's up to you to read the book. Tom admitted that in a deperate attempt to save his life, he makes Polly help him unconsciously. But what he didn't know is that putting Polly in to the picture endangers him more and Polly too. The jealous undying evil plays Tom's fate until the right time of Holloween to devour his soul. Tom does admit to like Polly a lot and they live happily while Tom and the rest of the quartet's career flourished.

Conrad's Fate

Just after the Dante Club, I finished the 2.5 inch thick Dian Wynne Jones book entitle Conrad's Fate in 2 days. Yes, Diana Wynne's new book is Conrad's Fate. Aki bought it in Japan and brought it to me. It is part of the Chrestomanci Books. This chapter happened sometime when Christopher Cahnt was fifteen.

In Series 7, a boy named Conrad Tesdinic beleived he had an Evil Karma because he failed to kill someone from his former life. He is sent to Stallery Castle to pretend to work and find out who he was supposed to kill. Up in Stellery, he encountered the sleek fifteen year old boy named Christopher. Mind you, Christopher is no longer the young, innocent boy that he was. He was a vain and poshy person which sent everyone to wonder why a well-groomed, devonaire teen was hired as an Improver.

Actually, Christopher was there because he was looking for Millie, the living goddess Asheth from Series 10. Millie ran away from Switzerland boarding school because nobody would listen how hard a time she had. Only Christopher would but fails to help her. She escaped from series 12 and went to look for a better life. Christopher went after her and proposed that when he finds her, they would live together in a small island in series 5.

Christopher helps Conrad around the castle while Conrad helps Christopher find Millie. A grim family secret is found out in the end. But all went well for Conrad. Christopher and Millie. Millie was sent to a better boarding school, Christopher is returned to the Chrestomanci castle and Conrad went with him to train too. After six years, Conrad returns home to series 7 to study some more. A year after that, he went to series 12 for a visit and to become Christopher's best man in his wedding.

That was the cute part. Millie became sweet and no longer willful but Christopher became a bit more vain. He had a new dressing gown and outfit for every day of the year. Mind you, his undergarments must be of pure silk.

There is a Dante in Each Heart

A different meaning to 'Hell on Earth'...

"Midway through the journey of our life, I found myself in a dark wood,

for the correct path had been lost."

"Some time in the middle of our lives, we all, each one of us, journey to face a hell of our own."

--Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Dante, an Italian Poet, wrote the Divine Comedies in his exile. In poverty and distress, he wrote to keep himself alive. As a man, he wrote what he felt and what he felt was hell.

Inferno was the first to be written. Beatirice, his lost love sends Virgil to guide him through hell for in hell, he will see what had become of sinners and through writting, he could warn mankind.

If we read these two lines of Dante, we find him not just imagining his hell as everybody concludes. Dante lived in his hell and as he observes, so does everybody. Midway through the journey of OUR life. He means everybody goes through a phase of feeling lost. The dark wood is the mind. We are lost in it. The second book, Purgatorio is the middle place, Limbo, as you would call it. Only in Paradiso is Dante's pilgrim saved. It is when we face our hell that we pass the journey and into the next stage, the middle stage. The passing stage is heaven, our heaven.

We each have this pilgrim Dante in us. Life is a journey, that's a given. There are ups and downs and this is what Dante shows us. We, a pilgrim in our own world, journey the ups and downs of life. Only justice and love can save us and only Justice and love will prevail.

Dante Club

The Force of Dante's Inferno

Recently, I've read the Dante Club by Matthew Pearl. It id about Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, James Russell Lowell, Oliver Wendel Holmes, James T. Feilds and George Washington Greene. These 5 people are the Dante Club. Headed by the famous poet, Longfellow, they translate Dante Alighieri's Divina Comedia(Divine Comedy).

While in the middle of their translation of Inferno, the first of the Cemodias by Dante but last to be translated by Longfellow, a murder happened. A week later, another murder which Dr. Holmes, Poet and proffessor of Harvard is asked help for an autopsy. He recognize the murder as one described by Dante in his Inferno. He began to think about the first murder and realized that it too was described by Dante. When the 4 out of 5 Danteans were awre of this, they bring upon themselves to catch the Lucifer of the New England Killings.

This was not as easy as they proposed. With Harvard trying to stop the translation because it was Catholic and "Obscene" and the police were having trouble among themselves, the Dante Club are on their own.

The third murder fell upon a close friend of Dr. Holmes sending the good doctor to release himself from Dante. George Washington Greene's health was failing leaving three Danteans to solve the murders themselves.

We can learn in this novel that friendship is important in doing anything. If Lowell had not talked to Holmes and the rest recount everythign to Greene, then the murders wouldn't have been solved. They had their extra little helpers of course. Who else would be there but family. It was thanks to Mabel Lowell, daughter of James Russell Lowell, and little Annie Alegra, daughter of Henry Wadworth Longfellow, that help had turned out.

There is a breaking of borders in this story. Nicholas Rey, the only person outside the Dante Club eager to solve the murders merges with the Dante Club soon after he realizes that only these Boston Brahmins know the key to solve the Inferno Murders. Rey is the first black police man. Due to his color, restrictions slows his aid. Never giving up like the Dante Club, they six men bond in friendship and hunt for Lucifer in 1865 Boston.